Monday, February 16, 2015
Sunday, February 15, 2015
A place about forgotten.
I entered a place tonight I haven't been in a long time. Maybe because of being tired or due to the weekend of Valentine. On the way home from church tonight a loneliness set in that had not visited my heart in a long while. I felt a deep desire for companionship and to be met at the door with a smile, to cuddle on the couch with the silence of a mouse and to just sat their with the "One" in my arms. As I drove in the driveway one of my triggers fired a shot. It is the "Front Door", a locked door and behind there are no lights on in the house. as it is unlocked there is not a noise and the smell of food on the stove, no sweet smell that a lady lives in the home. Yes, these days use to be long and wide and brought many tears to my eyes. As I sit here and write in the sounds of the night, I must say that the future yet looks so bright. Yes, that is right because at the end of this dark tunnel there is a light, it is my Savior who is that light HE came to me flight. "I will never leave you alone" is what he said.
I use the word "HALT" to help me meet the days like this.
H --- When hungry and does not just mean food.
A --- When angry even at self too.
L --- When Lonely
T --- When tired
You should stop and make no decisions because when emotions are aroused intellect stops working and bad decisions will be made.
So I "HALT", I write this to remind myself to not allow emotions to direct my life. Emotions are wonderful and this has been a week of felt ones so sweet, friendship, companionship and beauty. Days will be full in days to come they just seem empty tonight on the run. I miss my son most of all and would hold him if only he was here tonight but another day will come when it will be filled with such fun.
Thank you my friends for allowing me to be open and honest. This is one of the ways I deal with this life. I have learned to write but if not shared it just seems to hit empty air.
I use the word "HALT" to help me meet the days like this.
H --- When hungry and does not just mean food.
A --- When angry even at self too.
L --- When Lonely
T --- When tired
You should stop and make no decisions because when emotions are aroused intellect stops working and bad decisions will be made.
So I "HALT", I write this to remind myself to not allow emotions to direct my life. Emotions are wonderful and this has been a week of felt ones so sweet, friendship, companionship and beauty. Days will be full in days to come they just seem empty tonight on the run. I miss my son most of all and would hold him if only he was here tonight but another day will come when it will be filled with such fun.
Thank you my friends for allowing me to be open and honest. This is one of the ways I deal with this life. I have learned to write but if not shared it just seems to hit empty air.
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
a perfect measurement for a straight jacket
People please listen and stop reading into something that is not there. Let me explain what I mean by the REWARD will come in an earlier post... I went to college to study for the ministry and dreamed of a great work that my wife and I and our children would serve in our life together. .... I never thought the nightmare that happened would have had happened. With no cheating or even fussing in our marriage this was unseen. I know that God has a plan for my future but sometimes we have our own thoughts on this kind of stuff . God's way is always right weather we like it or not. You may not see why going HIS way pays but the reward will come.
Sometimes in life you maybe overlooked as one who have tried to do right and see the wicked continue to be in the worlds view blessed. In Ps 73 David gives us his take on the proportionality of the wicked and his discouragement that came but in the end saw that his reward was in the end.
Romans 8:28 is in the BOOK. In dark days the light of the LORD is the brightest. I know there are days that I get down and days I'm up and some days I look to the sky hoping for HIS return. This doesn't mean I have emotional problems (I am an emotional man more then most but that is what defines me) maybe mental problems (CRAZY) is a better description.
Look at the Psalms, David a man after GOD's own heart rode the emotional roller coaster more then any one person you will find in the Bible and at times had wished for death and revenge on his enemies (Brake their teeth in their mouth, he said to GOD), If he was alive many would think him to be a perfect measurement for a straight jacket (I have one but get loose when people aren't looking). Maybe it is that too many people are not as free and open with themselves as others and expressive with their words spoken or written but does that mean those of us who are and share our emotions are not stable. It might be that we are the most stable because we know ourselves and are not ashamed to be known by others. Maybe we are real and being real offend those who are not. I say this with the up most respect to those who see us or me as a nut, less, mentally challenged or having problems, you are right but the thing is I know it. Look in the mirror, what do you see, maybe your mirror needs to be cleaned but my mirror is clean and I know what I see. Come, LORD JESUS come (No I'm not thinking about death just heaven and seeing my Savior) .
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
This is for the SINGLES who didn't know how to say it and for the others who needs to here it.
This is for the SINGLES who didn't know how to say it and for the others who needs to here it.
Just love it when people see you and because you are single (but you have a child that you support) and think you should not have to have what someone else who have kids at home gets (weather it's money/time away/an ear to listen/some kind of sable life) and make the statement, "but you don't have a family", when I hear that it just makes me feel so warm inside. Singles have more taxes taken out, still have the same power bills, cable, phones, house payment, gas, insurance, offerings to give, gifts to give on holidays, cost for any entertainments, clothes, shoes, car payment and repairs and add to that CHILD SUPPORT TO A EX. plus other things your child needs. If your child lives out of state travel money/motel room payments/food while there/etc.
What singles don't have: Tax write offs, Head of house breaks, Child income credits, A spouse's support from a job, dinner at home (it cost more to cook for one than two or more and eating out gets expensive), Someone to come home to, children there or their voices or their hugs, someone to help with the washing/cleaning/yard work/repairs/around the house/cooking/shopping/someone to say good night too or good morning or how was your day or to cuddle with or the talk to when you just need someone (can I say most people are too busy to listen and just feel you need to get a life -- BTW we had one until it fail apart, thanks for the reminder).
---- PLEASE, to the singles who you see we didn't nor have we chosen to be at this place in our life. If we were once married do not think we did that in hopes of being there forever. It only takes one vote to end a marriage and two to start it, maybe we were not the one who voted to end it. If we truly loved our mate as God commands UNCONDITIONAL and we vowed to death do us part and they walked away, do we get to just stop loving and forget what we said as we made a promise to not just that person but to God, a preacher, our family and friends, to the person we married and don't forget to ourselves as well.
If we seem a little unhappy, down, lonely or a little negative maybe we are and the statements like, "you just need to find someone", "God has someone out there for you", "if you're single it's your own fault", and the good one "you have it made to do what you want". If we stay out late it might be because we had no reason to come home. Two of the hardest things to do is to face the front door everyday and go to the bedroom to go to bed. If I look tired I am because I might stay up until about dead to make it easy, maybe that's why I'm on facebook at this time.
Hey, when you read this post, please don't come to me and say, "you need help". Really!!! Thanks again for the reminder. That actual felt good ... Now about dead so I will go to bed so as to go to work to come home and do it all over again and wait for the next time I get to see my son.
There are some good things about being single; no one to see you cry, one one to hear you pray out loud for help and no one see you just fall into the bed after work so you can get strength to make the rest of the day to go to bed and do it all over again. I did not write this to hear pity or I will be praying for you or for you to to tell me off on here or in my presences (I got enough family and friend to do that and it does happen). No, just do this treat us like everyone else, we are not looking for anything other than to be seen as someone who is trying and has responsibility like anyone else. If you want us to go get something to eat just invite us we don't mind going even if we don't take someone because it sure beats eating alone.
Thanks for listening and for your single friends and family members just remember they are broken and healing does take time. If you have gone through it and doing well, maybe we don't heal as fast as you or our love might have been deeper and it cause more hurt. Please, be careful as you says, I got over it and moved on, you just need to forget the past and be happy. Do you not think we want to!!!!!
Love,
KEM
Just love it when people see you and because you are single (but you have a child that you support) and think you should not have to have what someone else who have kids at home gets (weather it's money/time away/an ear to listen/some kind of sable life) and make the statement, "but you don't have a family", when I hear that it just makes me feel so warm inside. Singles have more taxes taken out, still have the same power bills, cable, phones, house payment, gas, insurance, offerings to give, gifts to give on holidays, cost for any entertainments, clothes, shoes, car payment and repairs and add to that CHILD SUPPORT TO A EX. plus other things your child needs. If your child lives out of state travel money/motel room payments/food while there/etc.
What singles don't have: Tax write offs, Head of house breaks, Child income credits, A spouse's support from a job, dinner at home (it cost more to cook for one than two or more and eating out gets expensive), Someone to come home to, children there or their voices or their hugs, someone to help with the washing/cleaning/yard work/repairs/around the house/cooking/shopping/someone to say good night too or good morning or how was your day or to cuddle with or the talk to when you just need someone (can I say most people are too busy to listen and just feel you need to get a life -- BTW we had one until it fail apart, thanks for the reminder).
---- PLEASE, to the singles who you see we didn't nor have we chosen to be at this place in our life. If we were once married do not think we did that in hopes of being there forever. It only takes one vote to end a marriage and two to start it, maybe we were not the one who voted to end it. If we truly loved our mate as God commands UNCONDITIONAL and we vowed to death do us part and they walked away, do we get to just stop loving and forget what we said as we made a promise to not just that person but to God, a preacher, our family and friends, to the person we married and don't forget to ourselves as well.
If we seem a little unhappy, down, lonely or a little negative maybe we are and the statements like, "you just need to find someone", "God has someone out there for you", "if you're single it's your own fault", and the good one "you have it made to do what you want". If we stay out late it might be because we had no reason to come home. Two of the hardest things to do is to face the front door everyday and go to the bedroom to go to bed. If I look tired I am because I might stay up until about dead to make it easy, maybe that's why I'm on facebook at this time.
Hey, when you read this post, please don't come to me and say, "you need help". Really!!! Thanks again for the reminder. That actual felt good ... Now about dead so I will go to bed so as to go to work to come home and do it all over again and wait for the next time I get to see my son.
There are some good things about being single; no one to see you cry, one one to hear you pray out loud for help and no one see you just fall into the bed after work so you can get strength to make the rest of the day to go to bed and do it all over again. I did not write this to hear pity or I will be praying for you or for you to to tell me off on here or in my presences (I got enough family and friend to do that and it does happen). No, just do this treat us like everyone else, we are not looking for anything other than to be seen as someone who is trying and has responsibility like anyone else. If you want us to go get something to eat just invite us we don't mind going even if we don't take someone because it sure beats eating alone.
Thanks for listening and for your single friends and family members just remember they are broken and healing does take time. If you have gone through it and doing well, maybe we don't heal as fast as you or our love might have been deeper and it cause more hurt. Please, be careful as you says, I got over it and moved on, you just need to forget the past and be happy. Do you not think we want to!!!!!
Love,
KEM
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Book to my son, Aaron.
Write it down::::
In the Old Testament, Israel was often instructed to remember what God had done. Writing down how He’s made Himself known to you personally will help you recall His goodness. It will also assist you in fighting the lies of the enemy, who says that you are helpless. God’s Word and your recorded testimony of His work in your life form a powerful weapon to make helplessness flee.
When in college I wrote down every time the Lord sent money in by others that I did nothing for and had not asked for other than the Lord. In the 5 years I was at TTU I saw over $9000.00 come in that were not from family. I have the writing still (wish I had the money too) and at times will get it out just to see. What an encouragement.
Before Aaron was born I started a book writing to him of my love, hope, dreams and expectations for him. I wrote of my love for his mom and her family, my family, grandparents that he has never met or would not remember due to his age. I wrote of the hard times and what the Lord did. I wrote of the heart breaks we had when changing churches and moving. I told of the fun we had as a family and what I had prayed to FATHER for him. I wrote of the divorce and the pain and now the recovery of the situation by the Lord even though it was not the outcome I had hoped for. I write now of his changes I see and what I see in him, of his struggles and successes. When he finishes school in two years or when he gets married I don't know or maybe if I see him moving from FATHER's path, then I will give it to him and hope one day as he reads he will see my love and desire for him. After I am dead and gone it will be priceless to him as a guide and reminder of faith and service.
Is this not the same thing we have from our FATHER called the WORD of GOD. When was the last time you read of HIS love and desire for you.
In the Old Testament, Israel was often instructed to remember what God had done. Writing down how He’s made Himself known to you personally will help you recall His goodness. It will also assist you in fighting the lies of the enemy, who says that you are helpless. God’s Word and your recorded testimony of His work in your life form a powerful weapon to make helplessness flee.
When in college I wrote down every time the Lord sent money in by others that I did nothing for and had not asked for other than the Lord. In the 5 years I was at TTU I saw over $9000.00 come in that were not from family. I have the writing still (wish I had the money too) and at times will get it out just to see. What an encouragement.
Before Aaron was born I started a book writing to him of my love, hope, dreams and expectations for him. I wrote of my love for his mom and her family, my family, grandparents that he has never met or would not remember due to his age. I wrote of the hard times and what the Lord did. I wrote of the heart breaks we had when changing churches and moving. I told of the fun we had as a family and what I had prayed to FATHER for him. I wrote of the divorce and the pain and now the recovery of the situation by the Lord even though it was not the outcome I had hoped for. I write now of his changes I see and what I see in him, of his struggles and successes. When he finishes school in two years or when he gets married I don't know or maybe if I see him moving from FATHER's path, then I will give it to him and hope one day as he reads he will see my love and desire for him. After I am dead and gone it will be priceless to him as a guide and reminder of faith and service.
Is this not the same thing we have from our FATHER called the WORD of GOD. When was the last time you read of HIS love and desire for you.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
“Through a Father’s eyes.” By Kem G. Lowery
“Through a Father’s eyes.”
By Kem G. Lowery about my Aaron
He was but a child
So small and frail.
He grabbed my heart
And I did swell.
When I looked in his eyes
I could not hold back tears but cried.
So many days have past since then
And I’m not just Dad but a friend.
As I see him grow and go
And on his face there is a glow.
I can not but have a dream
Of greater days and miles less between.
Oh, to see him say goodbye
And watch the tears fill his eyes.
I can feel hopeless and alone
But my Jesus is in this home.
I know he carries Christ in his heart
Because we raised him to be smart.
I see the joy he must bring to my FATHER
For his heart HE doeth reign.
By Kem G. Lowery about my Aaron
He was but a child
So small and frail.
He grabbed my heart
And I did swell.
When I looked in his eyes
I could not hold back tears but cried.
So many days have past since then
And I’m not just Dad but a friend.
As I see him grow and go
And on his face there is a glow.
I can not but have a dream
Of greater days and miles less between.
Oh, to see him say goodbye
And watch the tears fill his eyes.
I can feel hopeless and alone
But my Jesus is in this home.
I know he carries Christ in his heart
Because we raised him to be smart.
I see the joy he must bring to my FATHER
For his heart HE doeth reign.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
The Magic of the Moment
When it seems the magic's slipped away, in life, we all seem to believe we have to grow up and become adults but what does that really mean? I know it means responsibility but does that mean we have to become cynical and humbug about all things in life. Christ said we were not promised tomorrow and to take no thought for tomorrow so what is it that HE is trying to tell us? I believe it is that we can trust HIM and we should still live in the magic of the moment and listen for the Dreams that are calling like bells in the distance. Why not become dreamers again. Can my God still answer the dreams that we have? We look at the past failures and judge the moment in such a way that we over shadow the future with hopelessness and this is why we lose the magic. Let's find it all again this year on Christmas day. There were those who thought that day, that is the 1st. Christmas - our Saviors birth, would never come but it did. Some still do not believed it and the magic of that moment for them one day will be past. Their future will be sealed with doom. May we not be as those and seal our future with doom because of our failure to see the magic of the moment that we have been given.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
the storm
When trouble strikes, we sometimes forget our knowledge of God too. We struggle to recall past answers to prayer, specific guidance provided by the Holy Spirit, and lessons learned in previous crises. Only the present seems real. Our minds spin with future implications, and our troubled emotions inhibit clear thinking.
In our own strength, we lack sufficient resources and abilities to meet life's challenges. So God provides what we need. Our suffering is never a surprise to the Lord. He knows everything we are going through. More than that, He’s orchestrating our circumstances for His glory and our benefit, according to His good will.
Reflecting on the divine purpose in hardship can help us respond to trials in a God-honoring way. --- C. Stanley
In our own strength, we lack sufficient resources and abilities to meet life's challenges. So God provides what we need. Our suffering is never a surprise to the Lord. He knows everything we are going through. More than that, He’s orchestrating our circumstances for His glory and our benefit, according to His good will.
Reflecting on the divine purpose in hardship can help us respond to trials in a God-honoring way. --- C. Stanley
Saturday, October 6, 2012
light in darkness
I had stepped back on my restoration of mind, soul, spirit and body the past 5 weeks and now feel a step forward, feel life coming back in veins that had closed due to loss of purpose and darkness of dreams and vision. New light is beginning to come through the clouds and life is springing from a cold hardened soil. Hope and change, new love is causing the blood to flow .
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