JUST BECAUSE LOVE

On Nov. 18, 2008, my life changed, my wife of 20 years walked away and I did not even see it coming. When you start out you have doubts whether you will make it but when you cross time and trails together and hit 7 yrs, than 10, than 15, then 18 you just believe you will have a life time together. In those 20 years there had never been a time of separation or leaving over night to go to a parents house because we were mad at each other, there had not been as far as I can remember even sleeping in another room because of being mad, no calls were ever made to the police because of fighting, I don't even remember fighting, yes, we had times that we didn't agree but we worked through it. The question even after these 3 years is what went wrong.

One thing is I believe we drifted apart, when you're drifting you're just enjoying yourself and may not even realize what is going on. I was enjoying marriage and in a selfish manner did not realize that she was not. In one sense, you can't expect someone to make you enjoy something, I like ice cream but not all people do, so just because I like it doesn't mean I should just take it for granted that everyone around me does, but if you don't like ice cream tell me, for if you don't tell me I want know. She never told me she was not enjoying it.

A professor in school said, "When emotions are aroused intelligent stops working", my emotions were aroused, I was in love and failed to see after 20 years she was not. They say you can't fall out of love and maybe that is true but I do know, at one time she loved me but some where whether my fault or hers she stopped loving me. Even today my love for her is the same as it was when she was here. Some people ask me how can you love her after what she did to you and I can answer that, "It was because love", that is, "JUST BECAUSE LOVE", I love her just because I decided too not based on her but on me. Many people today don't understand "JUST BECAUSE LOVE" but that is the kind of love that my GOD has for me, it is based on HIM and HIS character. I guess if I want to be like HIM I should love the way HE does. Judge me for loving someone who no longer loves me and say I am wrong but I know ONE who will say "great job, Kem" one day when I see HIM face to face. Yes, I believe that I will see my FATHER face to face one day and maybe not that long from now and because of that I must do what pleases HIM.

This may sound a little strange because of what I just said but please hear me out. I do believe I have been living as FATHER would have me with a mind set for restoration which is the only plan HE has for me and my family but I have come to realize that I have also dishonored HIM in my outlook on life. Content is what HE wants and I have not been content. I lived for 20 years as a married man, I talked like a married man, walked like a married man, I thought like a married man, I came home like a married man, managed money like a married man, dreamed like a married man and had goals like a married man, the reason was I was a married man. For the last three years nothing has changed other than I am no longer married but I still live like a married man. To have the mind set of a married man and yet not have the benefits that come along with being married will cause one to be lonely, discouraged and depressed. Married in mind only will make you a lonely person.

In the recent days FATHER has worked on me. The verse "as a man thinketh so is he" has dominated my mind as if FATHER has been knocking away at my heart. I am not married but single and must accept that. I need to begin to live with the mind set of a single man but yet with limits. Now, hold up, that doesn't mean I can forget the Word of GOD on these matters but what it does mean is I can let go and learn to live with where I am at this time in my life. Now I don't know where HE is leading me on this path but I do know this as long as I follow HIM I want get lost.

So now I begin a new path, a new way of thinking, a new outlook, a new adventure, a new joy with a new zeal for life that can bring glory to the ONE who loves me JUST BECAUSE!!!!!

restoration comes after the sack cloth is removed.

Kem G. Lowery (1): "I believe it is time to take off the sack cloth and put on the silk. I have lived the past few year with sack cloth on because of things that I did not choose, I do not believe my FATHER wants me to live in a spirit of morning and sack cloth when through HIM I am part of a royal family and deserve silk. David the king when his child died removed the cloth and ate. I must accept the death of the past and live today"

There was an old man that lived alone because one day he had lost his song.

There was an old man that lived alone because one day he had lost his song.

He had had his song so vary long and thought, never would it ever roam but

to his dismay the song left one day.

He looked around to find the song but it had moved and was gone.

He had loved this song for so vary long that to lose it, he wondered what had gone wrong.

He missed his song and had said that he would never sing another song for this song alone had sat upon his heart’s throne.

He mourned and cried and thought he would die. With every tear in his eye beside his bed he sighed.

He had noticed other songs but they just did not have the right tone.

There was one that was a young song that had tipped toed across his throne but it too was not his tone. He missed the young song but knew she would find a better song for her throne.

He had learned to miss his song and to live his life alone, even though the joy of his life was gone because of the loss of his song, the little song that they wrote together would always make him feel much better.

This little song had such a sweet tone that it made everyone want to sing alone. The little song lived not at home but long long long which made the man moan.

The man had hope that his little song would one day be home and both could sing along with a new song where neither would ever have to roam and be alone.

pain

Facebook (4): "The hardest thing to stop doing is reliving the pain that we have experienced from someone whom we love but only through Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit can we experience peace and even joy after pain of heart and emotions."

let it go

Kem G. Lowery (1): "Write a non-mailed angry letter, pour out your heart in it. Then sit with an empty chair in front, put the name of person on it and read it out loud...let it out and let it go. It helps."

disappointment

Kem G. Lowery: "A right response to disappointment begins with resisting the natural tendency toward bitterness. If someone else was involved in the situation, don't be quick to judge his or her conduct. We can't fully understand what is going on in others' lives. Our second step should be to ask the Lord, 'How am I to respond?' God can guide us to a wise and righteous reaction because He has all the facts."

recovering

Kem G. Lowery: "anytime you do not feel anger, blame, self-pity, bitterness, or resentment, then you are experiencing recovery. If you think of your former relationship less often than you used to, this is a sign of recovery. If you are living in the present more than you are dwelling in the past, you are recovering. I'm recovering!!!!!"

restoration in layers

Kem G. Lowery: "Restoration happens in layers. The 1st thing is you wake up some day and you feel a little better, not as depressed. You're able to get via day w/o crying. Then the next day, you might feel bad again. After a while you better more days than bad."

good night

Kem G. Lowery: "now I lay me down to sleep with tired, sore and ache feet,
oh, my strength is almost gone if I wake before it's dawn,
just shoot me in the head and call me gone. -----Good night!!!!"

you're no good

Facebook: "you're as good as you'll ever be. You're as good as you've ever been, and you won't ever be any better than you are. 'God never intended for you to get better, because you can't improve flesh, But the Holy Spirit, who is living inside you, will enable and live through you.' Flesh is insufficient. Only the Holy Spirit living inside us has the strength and wisdom to live out the Christian life victoriously."

I have had a few...

I have had a few...

9 roadblocks to forgiveness

9 roadblocks to forgiveness

1. Selfishness
2. Pride
3. Insecurity
4. Resentment
5. Unresolved anger
6. Inability to recognize your weakness and mistakes
7. Misunderstanding forgiveness
8. fear of condoning the offense
9. The passage of time.