I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 (KJV)
I find it to be no greater joy than to die. I have fought with feelings of my wife leaving and the idea of would she return, though I can not blame her nor could we anyone with the world pleading for us to go after our own desires. The world says you deserve to be and do and feel and live and dream however you want. This is why we have the problems today that men have followed their heart and their heart was after self and not Christ. Death is the only cure for this problem, NO, not of life but of "self". "I am crucified", can we say this.
"I desire" to be loved and to love and yet there is nothing wrong with that. The problem is and many may disagree but the truth is still the truth, "I" if I am going to be where FATHER would have me, "I" must die to the desire other than "restoration" of a broken marriage. I see it this way, if JESUS was standing in front of me and I asked should I seek a relationship with another or seek restoration even if the other desire not restoration. I have no doubt as to HIS answer. It is in this that "I" must die, for "I" am a man and desire but I have found that If I trust HIM, HE will give me the desires of my heart (Proverbs 3:5-6). Life is so much more fulfilling when we live in HIM and allow HIM to live through us.
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